It is all about attitude !

As I was passing the elephants, I suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg.

No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not. I saw a trainer near by and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.

“Well,” he said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”

I was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before?

Sachin Tendulkar's intervew on Aaj Tak !

Those who miss the interview of Sachin Tendulkar on Aaj Tak, here is the full 55 minutes of video of that interview. Don't miss it. Click here to see the interview !

Best Catch in Cricket

Check out the one of the finest catch !

See it at video.google.com/videop...

Ad for Google Maps

Here it is.

Heineken ad

Click here ot see funny Heineken ad

BMW's funny ad

BMW's funny ad.

Bollywood Comedy

I am great fan of Bollywood movies. But, here is the video clip, where a stand up comedian makes fun of Bollywood movie, which is full of songs and dance. Click here to view the video !

Don't Work So Hard !

Click here to see the video !

How men screw up romance

Click to watch: How men screw up romance

Another Funny Ad

Check this out. Click Here !

Amir Khan Coke Ad

Check this funny ad:

Traffic Signs tell story

X'mas in Iraq

Skype co-founder's view on India - Interesting Interview

At 33, Morten Lund of Denmark loves a T-shirt that says: 'Software is like sex. It's better when it's free.' Read the interesting interview...

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Advertisements Gone Wrong

Why integration testing is required....

Media Photoshop Retouching

This demo goes through all the steps and shows you before and after changes of a girl on the front of a magazine. Its amazing what you can do with photoshop. By the way this is not just the usual before and after pictures it shows you how things changed, how they did it, and what it naturally should look like

Read more at www.i-am-bored.com/bore...

Funny Picture

Writely - The Web Word Processor

Check out this cool web application called Writely .  In simple terms, it is your Microsoft Word on the web.  You can access your document from any browser, you can share the documents, convert them in to .pdf and much more...

Read more at www.writely.com/BasePag...

15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse is taking his/her sweet time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares,...and see what happens. 5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone? 9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible'. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!" And last but not least: 15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There's no toilet paper in here".

An Irish Toast

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John" Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

Doubt in Mahabhart !

In some remote village of India, masterji is teaching the Mahabharat Katha to class 6 students. He is at the Krishnajanma' part of it. Masterji: "Kansa heard the akashwani that his sister's 8th child is going to kill him. He was furious. He ordered to put Vasudev n Devki behind the bars. First son is born, and Kansa kills him by poisoning...Second one is born n kansa throws him off the mountain peak. Third one is born..." Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his hand. Masterji, I have a doubt (sounding nervous and confused) Masterji: "Ramu bete, whole India does not have doubt in Mahabharata then how come u have one?" Ramu : Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki's 8th child was going to Kill him, WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT 'VASUDEV' N' DEVAKI ' IN THE SAME JAIL ??? Masterji fainted.........................

For those who can read Hindi

Funny letter....

Have you noticed this?

Computer Humor

Chcek this out !

Error by Railway Staff at New Delhi Railway Station

Check out the spelling for Lucknow in the image below. Click on the link to see the image. http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/110/image0012fm.jpg

Access your Gmail from your cellphone !

Now, you can access the GMail from your cellphone....

Read more at mail.google.com/mail/he...

Brilliant Indian Press Ad

This brilliant ad is for Big Bazaar's women's day sale.

Yahoo Launches New Messenger Beta

Yahoo late Tuesday released a beta version of Yahoo! Messenger 7.5, which includes the new inbound and outbound calling features it detailed last week. The client now allows users to place phone calls to over 180 countries, costing a penny per minute in the US and two cents to over 30 other countries.

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Gmail now has vacation response !

Gmail keeps on improving.....

Read more at mail.google.com/support...

Google's secret weapon: simplicity

Google's secret weapon: simplicity

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Resume of Dr. Manmohan Singh

EDUCATION /Qualification: * Stood first in BA (Hons), Economics, Punjab University, Chandigarh,1952 * Stood first in MA (Economics), Punjab University, Chandigarh,1954 * Wright's Prize for distinguished performance at St John's College, Cambridge,1955 and 1957 * Wrenbury scholar, University of Cambridge,1957 * DPhil (Oxford), DLitt (Honoris Causa), PhD thesis on India’s export competitiveness OCCUPATION /Teaching Experience: Professor (Senior lecturer) - Economics, 1957-59 Reader, Economics, 1959-63 Professor, Economics, Punjab University, Chandigarh, 1963-65 Professor, International Trade, Delhi School of Economics, University of Delhi, 1969-71 Honorary professor, Jawaharlal Nehru University, New Delhi, 1976 and Delhi School of Economics, University of Delhi, 1996 and Civil Servant Working Experience/ POSITIONS: 1971-72: Economic advisor, ministry of foreign trade 1972-76: Chief economic advisor, ministry of finance 1976-80: Director, Reserve Bank of India; Director, Industrial Development Bank of India; Alternate governor for India, Board of governors, Asian Development Bank; Alternate governor for India, Board of governors, IBRD November 1976 - April 1980: Secretary, ministry of finance (Department of economic affairs); Member, finance, Atomic Energy Commission; Member, finance, Space Commission April 1980 - September 15, 1982: Member-secretary, Planning Commission 1980-83: Chairman, India Committee of the Indo-Japan joint study committee September 16, 1982- January 14, 1985: Governor, Reserve Bank of India 1982-85: Alternate Governor for India, Board of governors, International Monetary Fund 1983-84: Member, economic advisory council to the Prime Minister 1985: President, Indian Economic Association January 15, 1985- July 31, 1987: Deputy Chairman, Planning Commission August 1, 1987- November 10, 1990: Secretary-general and commissioner, south commission, Geneva December 10, 1990- March 14, 1991: Advisor to the Prime Minister on economic affairs March 15, 1991- June 20, 1991: Chairman, UGC June 21, 1991- May 15, 1996: Union finance minister October 1991: Elected to Rajya Sabha from Assam on Congress ticket June 1995: Re-elected to Rajya Sabha 1996 onwards: Member, Consultative Committee for the ministry of finance August 1, 1996- December 4, 1997: Chairman, Parliamentary standing committee on commerce March 21, 1998onwards: Leader of the Opposition, Rajya Sabha June 5, 1998onwards: Member, committee on finance August 13, 1998onwards: Member, committee on rules Aug 1998-2001: Member, committee of privileges 2000 onwards: Member, executive committee, Indian parliamentary group June 2001: Re-elected to Rajya Sabha Aug 2001 onwards: Member, general purposes committee BOOKS: India's Export Trends and Prospects for Self-Sustained Growth -ClarendonPress, Oxford University, 1964; also published a large number of articles in various economic journals. OTHER ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Adam Smith Prize, University of Cambridge, 1956 Padma Vibhushan, 1987 Euro money Award, Finance Minister of the Year, 1993; Asia money Award, Finance Minister of the Year for Asia, 1993 and 1994 INTERNATIONAL ASSIGNMENTS: 1966: Economic Affairs Officer 1966-69: Chief, financing for trade section, UNCTAD 1972-74: Deputy for Indian IMF Committee of Twenty on International Monetary Reform 1977-79: Indian delegation to Aid-India Consortium Meetings 1980-82: Indo-Soviet joint planning group meeting 1982: Indo-Soviet monitoring group meeting 1993: Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting Cyprus1993: Human Rights World Conference, Vienna RECREATION: Gymkhana Club, New Delhi; Life Member, India International Centre, New Delhi PERSONAL DETAILS: Name: DR.MANMOHAN SINGH DOB: September 26, 1932 Place of Birth: Gah (West Punjab) Father: S. Gurmukh Singh Mother: Mrs Amrit Kaur Married on: September 14, 1958 Wife: Mrs Gursharan Kaur Children: Three daughters Our PRIME MINISTER seems to be the most qualified PM all over the world.

A Simple Story

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year- old son waiting for him at the door. Son: "Daddy, may I ask you a question" Daddy: "Yeah sure, what it is?" Son: "Dad, how much do you make an hour" Daddy: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing? " that man said angrily Son: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour? " Daddy: "I make Rs. 500 an hour" Oh", the little boy replied, with his head down. Looking up, he said, Dad, may I please borrow Rs. 300?" His father was furious, "if the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or other nonsense, then march yourself to your room and go to bed. Think why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior" The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money? After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think: May be there was something he really needed to buy with that Rs. 300 and he really didn't ask for money very often!" The man went to the door of little boy's room and opened the door. "Are you asleep, son?" He asked. No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy. I've been thinking, may be I was too hard on you earlier", said the man, It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the Rs.300 you asked for" The little boy sat straight up, smiling "oh thank you dad!" He yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled some crippled up notes. The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little ! boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at his father. Why do you want money if you already had some?" the father grumbled. Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied. "Daddy I have Rs. 500 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you" The moral of this story: It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family. An unwise investment indeed!

A guy dies and goes to hell.

A guy dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks "What do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell. Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a very long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks "What do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in? " "Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil was a software engg, so he swipes the card, comes in, checks his mails and then goes to the cafeteria..."

Intersting Facts about Banglore

Someone sent the following email to me. Some of those facts which I think are not true, but it is really an interesting read: 1. Bangalore has the impeccable record of highest growth within a span of 20 years. 2. Bangalore has highest number of pubs in Asia. 3. Bangalore has highest number of cigarette smokers in India . 4. Bangalore has the highest number of software companies in India -212,followed by Hyderabad - 108, Pune - 97. Hence called the silicon valley of India 5. Bangalore has 21 engineering colleges, which is highest in the world in a given city. Bangalore university has 57 engineering colleges affiliated to it,which is highest in the world. 6. Bangalore is the only city in the world to have commercial and defence airport operating from the same strip. 7. Bangalore has highest number of public sectors and government organizations in India . 8. Bangalore university has highest number of students going abroad for higher studies taking the first place from IIT-Kanpur. 9. Bangalore has only 48% of local population(i.e.Kannadigas).Hence a true cosmopolitan with around 25% Tamilians,14%Telugites, 10% Keralites, 8% Europeans, 6% a mixture of all races. 10. Bangalore police has the reputation of being second best in India after Delhi. 11. Bangalore has the highest density of traffic in India. 12. Bangalore has the highest number of 2-wheelers in the world. 13. Bangalore is considered the fashion capital of east comparable to Paris . 15. Bangalore has produced the maximum international sportsmen in India for all sports ahead of even Mumbai & Delhi. 16. Bangalore has produced the maximum number of scientists considered for Nobel Prize nominations. 17. Bangalore has produced the highest number of professionals in USA almost 60% of the Indian population abroad is from Bangalore (except Gulf). 18. Bangalore is famous for THREE: Software Professionals, Girls and Dogs. This one is Ultimate. 19. Bangalore is famous for its dog bites, an average of 12 people are bitten by stray dogs per MINUTE somewhere in Bangalore

Time Magazine's List of 50 Coolest Web Sites

If you are new to the internet, here is the list of 50 coolest websites by Time Magazine. Click here to read the full article.

Interesting use of Bots

When you get a chance, add the following two MSN contacts to your contacts list in your MSN Messenger: encarta@conversagent.com bbcbackstage@hotmail.com The former is basically a bot that links to some of the Encarta knowledgebase and brings you back the answers. Quite a cool little tool if you want to get a quick answer to something and it will even point you in the direction of the Encarta website if it doesnt know the answer The latter is a link to the BBC tv listings. Start off by saying 'hello' and then just follow the prompts to get back the information you need. These are two excellent examples of IM bots and I think it would be great to see more of these in years to come things like directory enquiries, train operators (to see when the next train is coming leaving for Reading for example), NHS (to suppliment the NHS Direct phone service) and cinemas for film listings to name but a few. Source: http://blogs.technet.com/rtcnews/archive/2005/11/29/415295.aspx

Siddhuism

A few of Siddhuism for all you cricketing and non-cricketing fans :- Statistics are like bikinis… what they reveal is suggestive, what they hide is essential! Spit on your hands! Take the black flag! And start slitting throats! Wickets are like wives… you never know which way they will turn! He looks like a brooding hen over a China egg! It is very difficult to kill a man who is hell bent on committing suicide! He is as innocent as a freshly laid egg! When you are dining with the demons, you’ve got to have a long spoon! If ‘ifs and buts’ were ‘pots and pants’ there would be no tinkers! The ball went so high it could have got an airhostess on its way down! This team is like bicycles in a cycle stand… one falls and the entire row falls! The scoreboard is running faster than an Indian Taximeter! The batsman is like a three-wheeler. Sucks a lot of fuel, but cannot go beyond 30! The wily fox is back… it is an ill omen when a fox licks the lambs! A big outcry but no outcome! All that comes from a cow is not milk! Just because a rose smells sweet, you do not use it in the soup!

Laws of the life

LAWS OF LIFE ........ Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Kovac's Conundrum: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone. Cannon's Karmic Law: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire. O'brien's Variation Law: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now. Bell 's Theorem: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings. Ruby's Principle Of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Willoughby 's Law: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. Zadra's Law Of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. Breda 's Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. Owen's Law: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

You have 2 Cows

To help lighten your winter blahs, herewith a glossary which attempts to explain the proliferating and confusing list of "ism"s which have evolved over the past century. SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor. COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRACY: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away... TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your have multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead. A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide. A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers. AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them. BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad. AN EGYPTIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are voting for Mubarak!

Bathroom Rules for Men !

Click here to see bathroom rules for men !

Signs of a Stroke

During a BBQ a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm, Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ - had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. It only takes a minute to read this- Recognizing a Stroke A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a sroke...totally..He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed an`getting to the patient within 3 hours which is tough. RECOGNIZING A STROKE Thank goodness for the sense to remember the "3" steps. Read and Learn! Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke. Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions: 1. *Ask the individual to SMILE. 2. *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS. 3. *Ask the person to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently) (i.e. It is sunny out today) If he or she has trouble with any of these tasks, call 9-1-1 mmediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher. After discovering that a group of non-medical volunteers could identify facial weakness, arm weakness and speech problems, researchers urged the general public to learn the three questions. They presented their conclusions at the American Stroke Association's annual meeting last February. Widespread use of this test could result in prompt diagnosis and treatment of the stroke and prevent brain damage. A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved. BE A FRIEND AND SHARE THIS ARTICLE WITH AS MANY FRIENDS AS POSSIBLE, you could save their lives.

Intersting Quotes about Wife !

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way. -Henny Youngman ---------------------------------------------------------- My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -Rodney Dangerfield ----------------------------------------------------------- A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. -Milton Berle ------------------------------------------------------------ I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I asked her, "Where's the car?" She replied, In the lake." -Henny Youngman ----------------------------------------------------------- The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. -Henny Youngman ----------------------------------------------------------- After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." ------------------------------------------------------------- When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -------------------------------------------------------------- I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her. ---------------------------------------------------------- My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends. --------------------------------------------------------- A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did. ------------------------------------------------------- Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. --------------------------------------------------------- A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." --------------------------------------------------------- Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa, a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son. --------------------------------------------------------- Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late. --------------------------------------------------------- A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same: "You can have mine." -------------------------------------------------------- A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. "A billionaire." she replied, --------------------------------------------------------- Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. ----------------------------------------------------------- It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer. ---------------------------------------------------------- Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. ------------------------------------------------------ Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. ------------------------------------------------------- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. ---------------------------------------------------------- A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. The man thinks for a moment and says, Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead." --------------------------------------------------------- Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. ---------------------------------------------------------- The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

Proud Indian

Hope you feel as proud as I did when I read this: One of my friends in India wrote this mail and sent to many including me. Please read. Dear Friends, Here is a personal experience, as well as a moment of national pride, which I want to share with you. Hope you find it worth the time you put in reading it : "In the middle of 1965 India-Pakistan war, US govt - then a close friend of Pakistan - threatened India with stopping food-aid (remember "PL-480"?). For a food deficient India this threat was serious and humiliating. So much so that in the middle of war, Prime Minister (Late) Lal Bahadur Shastri went to Ram Leela Grounds in Delhi and appealed to each Indian to observe one-meal-fast every week to answer the American threat. As a school boy, I joined those millions who responded to Shastri ji's call. I continued the fast even when the war was over and India became self sufficient in food. Hurt deep by the national humiliation suffered at the hands of the US govt, I had vowed to stop my weekly fast only when India starts giving aid to USA. It took just 40 years. Last week THE day arrived. When Indian ambassador in Washington DC handed over a cheque of US$ 50 million to the US govt, two plane loads of food, medical aid and other relief materials were waiting to fly to the USA. Time to break the fast? With no bad feeling about the USA, and good wishes for the Katrina victims, this humble Indian feels proud of the distance India has covered in 40 years. Let's celebrate a New India!"

Wife

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want." The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me." The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says 'nothing's wrong,' and how I can make a woman truly happy." The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge???"

Classic Loveletter

You need to know the Indian Ads to understand this loveletter: My dear FAIR and LOVELY (ek chand ka tukda), you are my TVS SCOOTY (first love) and my AIWA (pure passion). I always BPL (believe in the best) and you know that iam a Knowledge Infotech guy your right sourcing partner . you are SANSUI (better than the best). You are DOMINO'S PIZZA (delivering a million smiles) for me. This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL (seriously fresh) feeling for me. I want you to be my life pa! rtner but I think you are worried about your father who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER (the unshakable) and my father who is CEAT (born tough), but don't worry as I am also FORD ICON (The josh machine) and rest of our family members are pretty KELVINATORS (the coolest ones). If our fathers say no, we will be WIPRO (applying thoughts), we will run away and marry, and PHILIPS (let's make things better). They will feel MIRINDA (zor ka jhatka dhire se lage) but I believe in COCA-COLA (jo chahe ho jaye). Trust in God who's always NOKIA (connecting people) who love each other. And do not forget that we are WILLS (made for each other). Now that HYUNDAI (we are listening) the song of love, you must know that love is DAIRY MILK (real taste of life), SATYAM ONLINE (fun fast easy) and PARX (always comfortable). So never forget me. Ok bye! I wrote little but actually PEPSI (yeh dil mange more)!!. Yours LG (digitally yours).

Why did Newton committed suicide?

Why did Newton committed suicide? Here is the reason. Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done. In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes 1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth! 2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one. 3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots,Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun.Bang... the gangster dies... This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast! The 'climax' finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?) Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead. Newton commits suicide...

Still Miss this place !!!

P1000614.JPG, originally uploaded by kerim.

I still miss Rasranjan sweets and its food court :(

You know you're living in 2005 when...

You know you're living in 2005 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 6. You go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner. 7. You make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line. 8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies. 10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news. 11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job. 12. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home. 13. Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of the screen. 14. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 15. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee. 16. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :-) 17. You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 18. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 19. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 20. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list. AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself. Go on, forward this to your friends ...you know you want to... I did! From one of the emails, I received.

How does Stock Markets Work?

The Red Indians on the remote reservation asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Being a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't predict. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members Of the village should collect wood to be prepared. But also being a practical leader, he called the National Weather Service and asked "Is the coming winter going to be cold?" "It looks like this winter is Going to be quite cold indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service Responded. So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more Wood. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Is it Going to be a very cold winter?""Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "It's definitely going to be a very cold winter." The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect Every scrap of wood they could find. Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you Absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?" "Absolutely," The Man replied. "It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever." "How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked. The weatherman replied, "The Red Indians are collecting wood like Crazy."

Bill Gates in Hell

Bill Gates died and found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God. "Well, Bill," God said, "I’m really confused about this call; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world, and yet you created that ghastly Windows 95. So I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. In your case, I’m going to let you decide where you want to go!" Bill replied, "Well, thanks, God. What’s the difference between the two?" God said, "I’m willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help you make a decision." "Fine, but where should I go first?" God said, "I’m going to leave that up to you." Bill said, "Okay, then, let’s try Hell first." So off Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining, the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased. "This is great!" he told God. "If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!" "Fine," said God and off they went. Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his decision. "Hmm, I think I prefer Hell," he told God. "Fine," God replied, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming among the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons. "How’s everything going, Bill?" God asked. Bill responded (his voice full of anguish and disappointment), "This is awful; this is not what I expected. I can’t believe this happened. What happened to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?" "Ah," God smiled and said, "That was just the screensaver."

Interesting facts of men !

1. The nice men are ugly. 2. The handsome men are not nice. 3. The handsome and nice men are gay. 4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married. 5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money. 6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money. 7. The handsome men without money are after our money. 8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough. 9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards. 10.The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God that they are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!! 11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

Pakistani Maths Question Paper ...

Pakistani Maths Question Paper ... Instructions i) Students found copying will be shot on the spot. ii) Any student coming late after 10 minutes after the exam starts will be forced to join Al Qayda Group . iii) Ak 47 -s and Grenades are not allowed in the exam hall. iv)Students may keep their daggers,Revolvers and pack of anthrax bombs only for self defense. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Math Exam Time 3 hours Full Marks 100 All questions are compulsory. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. Abdul was sent to jail for murder .He has 7 wifes in his house. Abdul distributed money to his wives in such a proportion that the youngest and most recent wife receives maximum and oldest wife gets minimum, and each wife gets double of her former competitor. Abdul Has 1700 Rupaye left in his house. Abdul's oldest wife needs atleast 25 rupaye per month. Find out the time when Abdul will have to break Jail to come out and earn money so that his wives do not starve. 2. Karim is a Drug seller. Prices per gram of Marijhuana, hasis, haroine and LSD s are 50,60,70,80 Rupaye respectively. Karim offers a discount of Rupaye 20 for his buyers who buys more than 50 grams of drug. If Rahim , a buyer gets Rupaye 37 discount , find out the grams of LSD he bought. 3. Imran tampers the ball thrice per over. He deforms the ball .02% of its original shape each time . Find the percentage deformation the ball due to tampering in a one day series against India in which Imran bowled 9.3 overs. 4. Mohammed has a Company named Al Allah Kidnapping & Murder Private Limited.He has to threaten 10 people per day over the Telephone. 40% of the people he threatens are cinema stars in Mumbai, 30% are Businessmen in Delhi, 20% are Cricket Players in Madras and 10% are shopkeepers in Calcutta . If ISD charges are rupaye 15, 25,40, 50 per minute from Mohammed's city Islamabad to Bombay, Delhi, Calcutta and Madras respectively and he gets a Telephone bill of 10,230 Rupaya in a month Find out The No of Cinema stars in Mumbai , threatened in that particular month. 5. A terrorist group has to provide one Ak47.one AK 49,one Rocket Launcher, 50 Grenades and one pack of RDX to its Ron roots for training .One AK 47 costs 100$; One Ak 49 costs 150 $ ,A Bazuka rocket Launcher costs 250 $ , grenade is 3 $ each , a pack of Rdx Bomb attached with remote Control is 500 $. The terrorist group admits 2000 new people every year out of which 30 % are court-martialed . Find the amt of Foreign Money Pakistan Govt has to provide each year to run such a group. 6. If stabilty of democratic Govt. in pakistan is given by the following equation X exp3 +X exp2-16 = i ; Find out x. 7. Probaliblity of a Pakistani prime minister to be shot is 78 %. Probabilty of a Military general to be shot is 80 %. Find the joint probability of a Prime minister to be shot who is also a Military general. 8.Find out geometrically the area of Paktunistaan using PI Theorem with Osama BIn Ladens correction ( That is taking the value of PI = 786 instead of 3.14....), if Paktunistaan is taken as a heptagon. Recieved in an email...

Side effects of alcohol ... and remedies!!!

1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet. Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the drink on your feet). Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward 2. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights. Cause: You're lying on the floor. Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor. 3. Symptom: The floor looks blurry. Cause: You're looking through an empty glass. Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite beverage. 4. Symptom: The floor is moving. Cause: You're being dragged away. Cure: At least ask where they're taking you. 5. Symptom: You hear echoes every time someone speaks. Cause: You have your glass on your ear. Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself! 6. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive. Cause: You're in an ambulance. Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job. 7. Symptom: Your dad and all your brothers are looking at you funny. Cause: You're in the wrong house. Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.

Women V/S Men

Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute! Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking? Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think. Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck. Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from these football player shoulders of mine. Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier. ..................... NOW TWO MEN TALKING =================== Man 1: Haircut? Man 2: Yeah.

Water or Pepsi !

Which one is the 'Real Thing' ??? We all know that water is important but you've never seen it written down like this before. WATER 1) 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated. (Likely applies to half world population.) 2) In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger. 3) Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%. 4) One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study. 5) Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue. 6) Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers. 7) A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page. 8) Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50%less likely to develop bladder cancer. Are you drinking the amount of water you should every day? PEPSI 1) In many states (in the USA) the highway patrol carries two gallons of Pepsi or Coke in the trunk to remove blood from the highway after a car accident. 2) You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Pepsi and it will be gone in two days. 3) To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Pepsi into the toilet bowl and let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Pepsi removes stains from vitreous china. 4) To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Pepsi. 5) To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Pepsi over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion. 6) To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola or Pepsi to the rusted bolt for several minutes. FOR YOUR INFORMATION: 1) The active ingredient in Pepsi is phosphoric acid. Its pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about four days. Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase in osteoporosis. 2) To carry Pepsi (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use the Hazardous Material place cards reserved for highly corrosive materials. 3) The distributors of Pepsi have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years! Now the question is would YOU like a glass of water or Pepsi?